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fatin nurul hamizah yusman

i live my life the way i am . sometimes it doesn't turn out the way i want it to be because not all the things we want , we'll get . and not all the things we don't want , we don't get . as time passes by , maybe we'll forget things and new experiences will take place in our hearts but must we always remember that we are the Mayor of our own life . draw it well , make it beautiful because life provides chances for us to make ourselves a better person with better future :]

i am what i am now as i was what i was then ,.

nope !
Tuesday, December 27, 2011 @ 3:58 AM



am i brutal ? what do you say ? 

well i am actually confused because some of my friends said that i'm brutal . . i don't think so , and i don't feel that i'm brutal even . what actually made me a brutal in their eyes ? i just don't know . i don't act like a guy , or like to pick up a fight with boys , or cut my hair like punks or even dress up like this:

 

so think i'm not in the emo category or even in the hardcore category . i think i'm much girly , jyeeeaaahhhh GIRLY ! kaayyyy , laugh all you want but i think that is what i am . i like girl stuffs :] well what i mean by girl stuffs is not barbies , make ups or pinkies but things that girls usually do , for instance styling , buying unnecessary things , accessories things like that . so that put me in the girly category right ? but here's the thing , sometimes (most of the time actually ) , i buy stuffs that is not-so girly . for example , i bought a new "A Day To Remember" shirt when i was in Penang recently and it's kinda girly-less . girly-less ? yeaahh , i think that is more suitable to describe it . but heyyy , im a fan of the band , so , it doesn't actually prove that i'm brutal even though the band is more to metal . people use to buy all these kind of stuffs if they're a fan of a band , or an artist or a movie or anything right ?  

well i know , some of my friends will say that i'm brutal because i like music which is more to hardcore/rock . to me , being a fan of hardcore music does not make a person brutal . except if the person acts like one , or even dress like one . but i don't . i just like to listen to  their songs even though it's a bit ferocious . everyone have their own taste in music right ? and does music shows who we really are ? maybe some of you'll say yes and some say no . but to me , it depends on the listener itself . if the listener is too attached with the music they keen to listen , they'll apply it in their daily life . like the guy up there , he's wayy attached in the emo stuffs so he dressed up like an emo too . this kind of things gives the listener a sense of identity and these kind of people will be more appealing or informally known as a freako . and they will tell the world that "this is who i am" .

so now , back to point . those who are close to me are aware that my attitude is not so girly but heyyy , do we have to be girly just to show that we're a girl ? NO ! we just need to be the way we are , don't we ? faking ourselves may be easy but do we want to be a fake for the rest of our lives just to make other people happy ? obviously NO ! we should be ourselves and people should accept the way we are . some girls may be proud to be called "brutal" but i'm not proud of it . i think that being called such a way is unsettling . truthfully , i'm really into rock/metal or whatever you're gonna call it but it's just from the sense of music okayyy ? and i don't like to be called brutal .. i know some will say that a girl should not be listening to these kind of music , these are BOY'S STUFFS . but heyyy , isn't it my own decision to make ? and the most important thing is , i don't make a shame out of myself by having a tattoo or do something "boyish". so it's not actually a problem .

these are the souls of my music :)




those are just a part of me no matter how big . and deep down , i know that i'm more to the girly category . so peeps , don't be so judgmental okayy ? some people are not what they seem .

SEEING IN NOT BELIEVING !