oh god , why must it be so hard ?

haiyaa , i just got back from pahang today and went to see a dentist . i went for a scaling treatment and currently my teeth feels different . that's all i can describe it . and i am so not happy because its uncomfortable T.T  

i logged in my facebook account just now and did a simple thing that all of us would which is of course , browse through news feed at home page . and then , i saw it . a picture . of who ? a person who HAD BEEN important and now remains a history . dark one perhaps .. so , as my eyes caught it at first sight , i left clicked and view the pictures one by one . unfortunately , he was DAMN HOT ==" and i hated it . really hated it . please , don't misunderstand . i don't hate him for being hot which actually he is not its just that in the picture he is umm , well .. undressed ? and he has a muscular body so he umm.. looked , umm .. appear as very , umm .. sexy i guess ? oh GOD , i can't believe i am expressing this awkward , affecting , weird feeling on my blog with complete honesty and people are actually reading it . thank god , he never knows that i have a blog therefore he would not read this :3

i hated it because he just looked so different like a complete stranger . different here means , the person i saw in the picture and the person i had once known is so dissimilar . why ? why must it ever be like this ? 

when i saw the pictures , for one second , one damn second , i felt the rage rising again . after such time i have been fighting and finally put off the fire that had been burning in me , it rose again . why ? because for that second , i kept asking myself over and over , why must it ever end that way . why didn't it work the way it should . why on earth , do we have to be connected in any way at all . yes , i admit that i felt sad or in better words , undelightful of what we had and wished for a better one but yet , i would never regret that now , it is all over .

The End *so lets just proceed , i don't want to keep this is mind any longer*

hey ! have i mentioned that i went to pahang ? well i did for 2 nights . its not really a vacation its just that my mum wanted to have a break , or frankly in her words LEPAK in pahang . i stayed in bukit tinggi so its kind of high up . therefore , it was quite relaxing and the view was amazing , really . we also went to the animal park ! yeahh there was rabbits all over , crazy deers , noisy peacocks , ugly donkeys *which smells like shit! HAHA* and the best thing of all , cute GUINEA PIGS :)

 aren't they adorable:)

i don't actually have a big interest in guinea pigs because to me they actually look like a cute but giant like hamsters with big spots on their backs and also quite ugly sometimes , with long fluffy fur which seriously needs combing . yeahh ,, heyy wait a minute , i did not make it sound that horrible did i ? well because they are not , they are really adorable its just that sometimes they do look ugly haha . 

 truthfully , i was excited when i saw these little creatures because these little ugly rat-like reminds me of someone , someone that i care for . finding these little creatures made me feel better because actually , during the nights in pahang , i felt in need . in need for .. i don't know , him i guess .. oh of course i can live without him , what are you thinking ? 

kau selalu cakap dekat aku yang kau tak suka kucing sebab kau tak suka bulu kucing masuk dalam hidung kau sebab nanti kau bersin banyak banyak , dan aku akan cakap yang kau tu pelik , tak suka kucing tapi suka sangat guinea pig padhal sama je , bulu guinea pig dah lah panjang , bersin jugak nanti .. tah pape tah hitam ni merepek je :)

miss you :3